'Tis post Thanksgiving day. I slept. And slept. And slept. Wondeful to do so, although now I think I have OVERSLEPT. Yesterday's festivities was a quadruple celebration - combination Thanksgiving, house blessing and two birthday parties rolled into one with about 15 children and twice as many adults. At least. In good Filipino tradition, there was not a turkey to be had. Instead, we had the Traditional Thanksgiving Lechon (roast whole pig). However, the national meat of the Philippines was not solely represented as a roast. Indeed, we had a spiral cut ham, pork BBQ (on the stick...my personal fave) and, in dinuguan (or as I like to call it, Klingon Blood Stew). We ate, we blessed, we ate some more, we birthday caked, and then ate some more. Then night fell and with it the temperature fell. So the drinking and the karaoke began. And so ushers in yet another holiday season in my little corner of subvervia.

posted by Subvervia 6:09:00 PM

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Greetings, o denizens of this demented universe of ours! I am amidst a sea of Transformation disguised as an Excel spreadsheet that refuses to balance out, and I am taking a quick mental break to digitally vomit my frustration out on you, the lucky receptors of that which I am expunging. In other words...I am going loopy! Woo hoo!!! Plus, this is a test post to see if i can recover my archives, which have disappeared into some remote database (probably located in a nuclear bunker somewhere in Arizona...or more likely an innocuous building in Columbus, OH).

posted by Subvervia 4:05:00 AM

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I went for a massage last night with a massage therapist recommended by my nutritionist. OOH – BTW, losing acreage, I tell you! Was in Da Area By Da Bay this past weekend for Ms. Panda’s 30th birthday and was shopping at the Gap. Fit into a size 16 pair of jeans. First time that’s happened in as many years! Soon I will be my own stand-alone lot instead of a development! Hee hee.

But I digress. Went to masseuse’s house and kept wondering if there was someone ELSE in the room during my session. Now, those of you who know me know that I am extremely near-sighted (NOT shortsighted…just blind as a bat). My glasses were on the table but I couldn’t find them because it was dark. And I’m nearsighted. Well, when I came back from changing back into my clothes, I was talking to the massage therapist and happened to look down at the sofa next to the table. There, taking up HALF a loveseat, was a cat. A veritable pool of feline snobbishness arrayed across the sofa cushion. Probably mocking me because I had been looking for my glasses not 2 inches from his head. Imagine. To be humiliated by a cat. It’s happened before.

The ironic thing is - this masseuse is also a bodybuilder/trainer/fitness professional. He owns an obese cat. I quote, "we had to switch the kitty door for a doggie door because he's too big!" Mr. Masseuse dreams of putting the cat on a treadmill. It was fabulous - one big round blob of cat. Amazing!

posted by Subvervia 11:17:00 AM

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My goodness. Apparently I have been quite lax in my posting. Apologies to all. For those of you who are Landmark'd, you will understand the next sentence. I became candidatable as an Introduction Leader last Tuesday, I have been coaching SELP for the past 2 months AND i just started taking the Effectiveness Seminar in the San Fernando Valley last week. All in all, I'm a busy grrl. Oh, and I got my hair cut yesterday. Feels fine, especially considering the time of the year.

Um...let's see. What I have to say is this. I am about to overshare. This is for the womens in da world. I have my period. My uterus this month has decided that it is going to be a) A Real Goddamn Bloody Version of the Exorcist or b) it has discovered religion in a big way. Either choice, it is all about expunging the devils within. OUT with that which plagues me. Heh. No need to be revolted. It's natural after all.

posted by Subvervia 7:54:00 PM

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I must be hearkening back to my childhood, or yearning for that ultra good cup of matzoh ball soup. Anyway, it's like Chanukah here at the office today. Specifically, I'm hoping and praying that my supply of lotion, already the bottle sitting on its cap so I can get every last drop out, will last me through the end of the day. OK, so it's not as significant as the Jews and their supply of oil lasting for 8 days, but it IS lubricant, and it is 8 hours. So THERE!

posted by Subvervia 3:04:00 PM

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Salutations, O Perusers of the Subvervia! There has been a new housing development built in them thar hills, if you haven't noticed. LIke most things in the suburbs - one does not realize the beauty of what nature (or, at least blogger.com) has given you until with one fell swoop of a mouse click... IT...ALL...GOES...AWAY....!! Yes, indeedy. I have had to shake the dust off my HTML coding, shaky being the operative word, and try to cobble my blog together again. Thank goodness for those pre-fab templates or I'd be one lost Subvervia.

For those of you who had been wondering (and had communicated thusly to me) why there hadn't been any posts in a while, I HAD, but they weren't showing up. Now it's all there, albeit not as I would've liked. But, it's kinda elegant. Like a new townhouse. In a gated community. You get where I'm going. Of course, I do not remember who I had linked or not linked, and the comments have disappeared. Still, we hope to be fully up and running like a rampant penis (doh!) very shortly. Or longly. However sensitive you are about such things.

posted by Subvervia 10:46:00 PM

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OK. Have no idea why my blogs are not being published but I will just say that genius takes time to be crafted. WhatEVER! Makes me feel like a piece of Cracker Barrel Cheddar. I remember that from my childhood. The cheese, that is. My father has a tendency (which I admit to now notice in myself) to latch onto something and just run with it for a very, very long time. Hobbies, breakfast foods, hair products...well, Pater Mea (no, I did not take Latin so please don't cringe anymore) was into the Ritz crackers with Smuckers Strawberry Jam and Cracker Barrel (the RED package) Cheddar for a long time. It was his breakfast food of choice, his snack food, and his every other time he felt like having something food during my junior high school years. (Just in case you're wondering, he moved on to Pepperidge Farm shortbread cookies when I was in high school). Anyway, I'm feeling like a piece of that crumbly cheddar today. Kinda ornery, yet pliable.

BTW - a plug for all things green and herbal. Started seeing a nutritionist (hooray!) and my insides feel cleaner than they have in a long time. Plus I'm actually eating more, but losing weight. Goodness gracious me! Could be that Subvervia could be losing a couple of housing developments at the rate things are going! Woo hoo!!!!

posted by Subvervia 10:28:00 PM

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Ahh…the joys of caffeine! I was extremely disenfranchised this morning at work, what with the subluxated tail bone (more about that in the next paragraph) and the “I’m going to a party tonight” – BTW – Happy Birthday to Puni Payne. He is most definitely…older…today. Just kidding. Love ‘n’ smoochies to ya, Mr. Payne! – um…back to the Par-Tay. I’m exporting myself all the way to San Diego for the aforementioned festivities. And then taking tomorrow off from work so I can recover and all that good stuff. Woo hoo!! So, caffeine. Forgot the happiness that pervades my very being when caffeine is introduced into my system. Combined with a couple of handfuls of sunflower seeds, and now I am transformed into a Kindergartner! I literally jumped around my cubicle because I feel like I’m three. Yippee!!

Radio commercials. Only in Los Angeles. Consist of 3 categories – “health & well-being” (notice, I use this term loosely), refinancing home loans, and used cars. That’s it. I should’ve said well-being, because I suppose the plethora of plastic surgery/laser eye surgery/gourmet healthful meals cooked and delivered to your door advertisements really appeal to one’s vanity. You must have a financial well-beingness to afford all of the above. Except for the gym commercials, I suppose. Even then, your being must be well enough to show up at the gym unafraid to be in spandex or your form-fitting, perspiration-wicking synthetic fabric outfit of choice.

posted by Subvervia 1:37:00 PM

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As my friend said, it could be a sign of the apocalypse. First there’s Kid Rock doing country. Doesn’t make him any more listenable…still. Then, I couldn’t find my bank last night. Yes – it’s been so long since I’ve actually been to my branch, what with direct deposit and the plethora of ATM’s ($1.50 charge withstanding), I had actually hadn’t been to my branch in a very, very long time. Turns out they had closed the branch over 2 months ago and moved down to the larger office on the corner. Very discombobulating. But the kicker this morning was listening to my smooth jazz station and hearing the DJ start talking about artists crossing over to smooth jazz. Then he proceeded to introduce the new single from Slash. Yes. As in Guns’n’Roses. Apparently going acoustic was but a stepping stone. Scarily enough it was not bad. Sounded like every other smooth jazz song. Innocuous and perfect for work. So I pulled out my Elvis CD and put that on. Uh hunh hunh!

posted by Subvervia 10:53:00 AM

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Three things. One, the construction going on at work has had me laughing all day. One of those things that you need to be there to truly appreciate, but for some reason, whatever they've been doing the past two days involving saws and power tools totally sounds to me like a giant blowing his nose in the distance. Like I said, it is only funny to me. OK, second - new favorite name from the world of medical claims. I kid you not, someone's last name is actually Imitatesdog. I wonder if that is native American, or a bad decision on someone's part to anglicize their name. Oof. Thirdly, there are concerts out there that I would love to go to but cannot afford. Orquestra Ibrahim Ferrer tonight. Annie Lennox at the end of the month. David Sedaris the night after Annie. And Afro-Cuban All-Stars the Sunday after that. Hmmm....funnily enough they're all at UCLA's Royce Hall, too. Ah well, that's how the cookie crumbles.

posted by Subvervia 5:22:00 PM

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Haagen-Dazs (sorry, not up to putting the umlauts and stuff) Desserts Extraordinaire Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream jumped at me yesterday. There I was in the grocery store (on my lunch break) to purchase my next 4-day hit of Claritin and you know what else walked out of the store with me. Not normally possessive of a sweet tooth, I somehow heard the frozen siren song of the icy dessert calling me down the freezer aisle towards the New Package! pints of goodness. Maybe it’s because my eyes have not stopped itching since the construction en suite started last week. Maybe it’s because my hands are also itchy and red and look something like I imagine Baghdad looks like (a wreck). Anyway, I’m eating the other half today. Who are they kidding with the serving sizes? I know many people who can eat a quart, and probably a gallon if they had the chance, of ice cream at one go. The label says that one pint serves 4 people. Hahahaha.

Only in LA. The new contest on the radio is to get passes to the annual Meat Market at the Playboy Mansion. “just wait for Hugh Hefner to say – YOU’RE THE MAN/WOMAN!” Also, this is the same city where the plastic surgeons and all-laser lasik surgeons get to guest on the morning drive shows. Ya never know when you’re going to need that botox shot!

Speaking of food – going to The Cheesecake Factory to hang with my German peeps tonight. Hopefully I’ll actually be able to have a piece of cheesecake. I never leave room.

posted by Subvervia 1:34:00 PM

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I can’t handle it anymore. I’m sure you have heard of the state of my radio in the bunker-cum-cube that I am located in office-wise. Yeah, yeah, I could bring CD’s, except for the fact that like having digital cable or satellite TV, there’s just so many choices I can find nothing. Luckily, or not, because of the reception (or lack thereof) in the office. I normally have the choice of one. One station. So this must be how it’s like in North Korea. Well, I could’ve said the USSR, but since that does not exist anymore and I can’t, I didn’t. Anyway, I get in Star 98.7, which is basically your average “I’m listening to this crap because I still believe I’m hip and cool even though the songs are annoying and sound the same, but thank goodness they play 80’s music at lunch!” station. The morning hosts (Jamie and Danny) are a guilty thing for me because a) I hate morning shows and b) they are sooooo crass and rude – not like Howard Stern, though, which I guess is a mixed blessing – but funny and c) there’s nothing else to listen to.

I try dutifully every morning to see if I can get in 94.7 The Wave! – the “smooth jazz” station. Much more pleasant in the morning, but right around 7:45 (about 15 minutes after I’ve arrived at work) the ventilation system kicks in and I get interference. Sometimes I’m lucky and I’m able to have it on for about 30 minutes before it’s useless.

Today I have fully reached my irritation point with popular music and whiny singers/dj’s (your pick) and now am listening to scratchy reception havin’ interference like a bad cell phone happenin’ goddamn classical music. Barg. My uterus and I thank you for listening to my rant today. Paz.

posted by Subvervia 11:01:00 AM

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I process medicaid (called Medi-Cal – how original – here in California) claims for eligibility during the week. Lots of newborns. I came across one yesterday where the mother was thirteen years old. Which means she was twelve when she became pregnant. The baby is also having complications, even though she was born full-term. I don’t know, but it made me sad. Babies having babies. I understand it’s a different world out there than when I was her (the mother’s) age. Still – perhaps it’s even more difficult now for her to be having a child to raise in this day and age. The mother was notified of what was happening with the child. As was Social Services because this is a teen pregnancy. I even wonder if the new mother can comprehend what is going on. Thirteen. I wish them both luck. In my case, that would mean that I’d be the mother of a 21 year old if I had given birth at her age. Oy. I cannot fathom what it would be like to be the mother of a legal adult.

posted by Subvervia 2:30:00 PM

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So my friend Mabster sent me an article from the New York Times (note: NOT the National Enquirer) about a talking fish who supposedly was channeling the soul of a dead Hasid in upstate New York and yelling out warnings in Hebrew. It was witnessed and heard by the Jewish owner of the fish shop at which the prophetic carp ended up, and the Hispanic non-Jewish assistant (who ended up butchering said fish). God, apparently, wants to talk to all people. Not just the chosen few, whoever they think they are. Then again, it could be a hearty Purim joke. Personally, I would’ve chosen a different fish. Carp are not very sexy. Heh.

I feel so…biblical. Maybe it’s also reading in the Daily News (San Fernando Valley edition) about those hellish sandstorms that have been slowing down the troops crawling towards Baghdad. There was an article quoting some colonel-type about how the only place he’d seen the black column of sand heading towards them was in “The Scorpion King”. Where’s The Rock when you need him? Or Bruce Willis, or Tom Hanks? They’d get Saddam. In 3 hours, no less, with much more visually appealing battle scenes. None of that fuzzy green night-vision shtuff that we’ve been treated to on CNN.

Chile rellenos make me happy. So do cheese enchiladas. And so do freshly fried bean and cheese chimichangas. Taking my disgusting De-Stress Formula, which has extracts of bovine innards (I guess it’s a source of liver) and which I call rabbit pellets, does not make me happy. However, it keeps me healthy. Plus, here’s my Heloise Hint for the day. If you don’t like to taste anything that you have to eat – just hold your nose while you’re chewing/swallowing. At least all you have to deal with is the aftertaste.

Oh, and I heard on the radio that only children (such as myself) are more prone to look for outside amusement if they are in a relationship. Ha! I say, since I am not in a relationship to be amused outside of. The point is moot.

posted by Subvervia 12:50:00 PM

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The Santa Ana winds have been blowing through Southern California again, and with it comes my lovely allergies. I don’t know whether it’s the dust in my house or the new dust floating through my windows, or the dust that is starting to come up today at work – they’re renovating the other half of the office suite and just ripped up carpet – but I am slightly…verklempt. I’ve invested in the Kleenex With Lotion (Aloe!) and a little bottle of Allergy Relief Eye Drops. However, the area beneath my nose is raw and red and itchy. What is the name of that area anyway? I’m sure I learned it on Jeopardy, but I forget.

Speaking of winds, those of you who live in areas with palm trees are familiar with driving around on windy days and having to avoid the big fronds and assorted detritus in the roads that come from palm trees swaying, indeed, whipping to and fro, in the winds. And every morning as I drive to work, I wonder, wouldn’t that SUCK if a tree fell on my house. It’s kinda bad when humming along doing 35 (the speed limit in Subvervia) and suddenly there is a big honking piece o’ dead palm smack dab in the left lane and there’s nowhere for you to go. Much worse to have the big tall tree itself sway and smash your lanai, if ya know what I mean.

Itchy and I sound like a foghorn blowing my nose with unfortunate regularity. Welcoming home the dust mites floating around the ocean of recycled office air. Could be worse, though. As I always remind myself, I COULD BE COUNTING CIGARETTES!!! Heh.

posted by Subvervia 11:20:00 AM

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Another episode of fabulousness

Location – The Grove, Los Angeles’ newest shoppers’ paradise (I dare not call it a “mall”!) For those familiar with LA – it is located smack dab next to the Farmers’ Market, which of course, could potentially make for some interesting parking stories, as FM’s lots are woefully and expensively inadequate to the hordes of mass consumers. But – there is a lovely 8-storey carpark (again, it sounds just oh-so-more-continental than garage) adjacent to The Grove. Comes complete with those helpful little digital signs overhead that indicate “On This Floor – Spots Remaining: 44”. And you dutifully follow the linked pylons that force you to snake up the various levels to those floors who have more than 2 spots available (like you’d ever FIND those two spots if you tried) and the next thing you know you’re on the sixth floor!

BTW – how to describe The Grove – like being in the shops at the Venetian in Las Vegas, except that the stores are slightly bigger, the sky overhead is real, and instead of the Grand Canal with gondolas, there is an old-fashioned (gasp!) trolley complete with bells and a conductor and tracks! I guess it’s for those who can’t make it to San Francisco. I was intrigued by a kiosk that sold “Your Portrait in Crystal!” Immediately thought of my mother, who would truly appreciate having her 3D image inserted into a block of crystal. Keeping that filed for Christmas…

OK – so the fabulousness really took place in the elevator going back up to my car. Picture if you will, an elderly couple having just attended a movie. The husband is in what could only be described as an SUV of a wheelchair, which came fully equipped with a male Filipino nurse (read: driver) who was clutching two half-eaten bags of popcorn (wonder if they deigned to give their caregiver some popcorn of his own…probably not) whilst navigating his charge into the elevator. With him was his wife – She Who Is Fabulous. Dig the artificially blond hair (would have to be at her age) impeccably done (I see visions of hair net – the spray by day and the real thing by night…) sporting intriguing yet tasteful modern gold jewelry against a coordinated salmon pink velour “casual wear” (never call it a sweat suit). OK - but here was what made it fabulous. The cane she was using was color coordinated to her outfit. No joke. It had it’s own cover that was perfectly salmon pink just like what she was wearing. Now THAT is fabulous taken to the next level. So very LA.

posted by Subvervia 9:15:00 AM

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My goodness gracious. Time flies when you're busy, huh? Tis the 9th of March and I'm busy AT HOME, for once, doin' the laundry and cleaning up the disaster known as my room. But I thought i'd take a little time out and post a little something. So this war thing is ridiculous. For once, I say, President Bush - give in to the peer pressure. Bombing the Middle East will not do anything except make that part of the Earth a very toxic place to exist. Not to mention make our country a target for things that would make 9/11 look like a toddler playing with Legos. But - onto a "sunnier" topic. I LOVE RECIPES. Not that I cook them. I just like reading them. And dreaming about cooking them. HAHAHAHAHA!!!! OK - back to folding laundry.

posted by Subvervia 2:14:00 PM

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Valley Moment vol. 2:

1:30 PM - Chatsworth, CA (the suburb where Subvervia works): Post-potluck (just 'coz we can!) lunch. Too sleepy to do anything, but wondering about the dietary choices we make in life. All the Filipinos ('cept for moi - I brought carrot cake) sported the classic Filipino "must have at gatherings where there is food" dishes: adobo, pancit, lumpia. However, did we eat that stuff? Nah...we were all excited about the....CHILI DOGS!! WOO HOO!!!

Oh, and don't forget to save room for the lasagna.

BURP.

posted by Subvervia 2:15:00 PM

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Valley Moments:

Saturday afternoon – Seafood City. Shoppping at the Filipino supermarket while basking in the afterglow of a frenzied Filipino food fest. Yes, there ARE leftovers, either for an uncle watching football at home, OR for lunch on Monday. Woo hoo!! Impulse decision to send a care package to Groundhog. Standing in front of the tinned fish aisle (“milkfish stewed with peppers, Spanish style!”) and calling on my smell phone to ask Mrs. Groundhog, “so, does he like his tuna adobo-, caldereta- or menudo-flavored?”

Saturday afternoon, corner of Balboa and Roscoe. Waiting for the light to turn green while staring at the McDonald’s SNACK sign below the Home Depot sign across the street. So, is that where all the sawdust goes? To make the hamburger buns?? But – I digress - beautiful sunny afternoon – gentle breeze and puffy cotton clouds in the sky. Window rolled down to let in the sunshine. Subvervia singing at the top of her lungs and dancing in the driver’s seat to “Girl I’ll House You” by the Jungle Brothers. “You in my hut now, MAH HUT!”

Priceless little moments of glee and tranquility.

posted by Subvervia 12:45:00 PM

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